Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
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On June 5, 2013, chumbucket lickin' Black Eye Joe said:
A Pirate with a Wooden Eye walked into a Scanty Bar.

There he saw a Beautiful Gal drinking alone at the bar, dangling a peg leg over the barstool, and looking lonely.

She had a Harelip but she was a woman he could not over look.

So, he walked on over on his Peg Leg and asked, “Hey little
darling, would you like to belly-up for a few drinks with me,” and she answered, “Would I, Would I,” and the Pirate retorted, “Harelip, Harelip!”
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From: Old as I am or older
On June 3, 2012, salty ol' jack said:
A pirate walks into a bar with a huge multi coloured parrot on his shoulder.
The barkeep, amazed at this sight, says "Now where did you get that!?"

The parrot replies "Pirate Bay, the place is loaded with 'em!!"
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From: don't remember
On June 4, 2011, the scurvy Phil said:
A pirate goes to the doctor to figure out why his waist hurts so much.

The doctor examines him, then comes to the conclusion.

"Captain, my dianosis is this. You have Hempatitus."

The captain is awash with fear!

"Argh, how can this be? I've only been with good clean wenches me whole life!"

"No!" replies the doctor. "You have hempatitus. The hemp rope holding up your pants is too tight! You've got Hemp-a-titus!"
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From: Captain Sue Per Crispy
On August 23, 2010, one-eyed Dean Mehling said:
As a child, I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
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From: Emo Phillips
On August 22, 2010, barnacle bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...

He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back.

She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself.

Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.

Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.

Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!

He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...

As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!
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