Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
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On September 30, 2008, land-lubber Steve said:
A new guy shows up for a job on a pirate ship. He walks into the galley, where all the pirates are eating beans. "I'm here for a job," he said. The pirate captain looks at him, sort of leans over and lets out a long, low, juicy fart. All the pirates start farting, low and long. Soon, the place reeks. The man, wanting to show that he's tough enough to be a pirate tries to fart but only manages a "Squeeeek, poot..."

It all gets quiet on the pirate ship, and the captain stands up, waiving his hook in the air and says: "I get the virgin!"
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From: Miami
On February 6, 2008, the scurvy thebobsfan said:
A pirate and his crew were busy plundering a ship. When he entered the captain's quarters, he saw the captain hunched over a table, obviously deep in thought. When the captain didn't move, the pirate came closer with cutlass raised, but stopped short when he noticed that the captain was involved in a game of chess ... with a parrot! The pirate watched for a few seconds, and soon the captain made a move. "Good move! Good move!" the parrot cried, "Nice! Nice!"

Well, needless to say, the pirate was quite impressed. "Arrgh, matey! That be quite the talented parrot ye be playin' against thar," he said.

The captain looked up at the pirate, somewhat startled, as he had been so involved with the game that he had not noticed the tar standing there. "Ahh, he's not so smart," he replied, "I've beaten the blighter two out of three." (Bah-dum-dum)

"So what would the bird do if ye made a blunder?" asked the pirate.

"Somersaults," was the quick reply.

"Somersaults?" the pirate said, "That be incredble! How many would it be doin' then?"

"That would depend on how hard I slap him."
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From: Just me reworking old jokes
On September 15, 2007, scurvy dog Marc Whitcombe said:
A pirate captain goes up to his first mate after a raid on a coastal village;
"A good haul I hope" says the captain.
"I'm afraid not captain," replied the first mate. "I think we picked a poor village to raid," he continued.
"What!" exclaimed the captain, "How much money did you get?"
"All we found were a few copper coins," replied the first mate.
"Did you try the church? Did they have any fine tapestries or Holy treasures?" asked the Captain.
"All we got was a wooden alter," replied the first mate.
"What about the farms?" asked the captain. "Did they have any animals we can eat, or sell at market?"
"One donkey" replied the first mate.
"One donkey!" exclaimed the Captain.
"Aaaargh" replied the first mate, and he continued .................
.................
.................
(Wait for it)
.................
.................
"It was the only bray in the pillage."
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From: Wrote it for a review of a pirate related ride on my own website.
On August 11, 2007, one-eyed Pirate Jenny said:
There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates!
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From: Can't remember
On August 10, 2007, seven sea sailin' The-Captin-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named said:
One pirate said to his fellow crewmate, "Arrrgh, that be a fine looking hook and peg leg ye got for ye'self!"

The pirate replied, "I should think so, it cost me and arm and a leg!"
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