- These be jokes 11 - 15 of 37 scurvy jokes!
On August 10, 2007, salty ol' The-Captin-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named said:
One pirate said to his fellow crewmate, "Arrrgh, that be a fine looking hook and peg leg ye got for ye'self!"
The pirate replied, "I should think so, it cost me and arm and a leg!"
The pirate replied, "I should think so, it cost me and arm and a leg!"
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On August 3, 2007, one-legged Annie Cook said:
After the storm the pirate captain was marooned on a deserted island. As he explored his desolate surroundings, he noticed that he couldn't find any wildlife.
There was plenty of fresh water, an abundance of coconuts and tropical fruit, and even a nice cache of rum. Finally, after days of searching, he thought he heard the sound of a chicken clucking.
When he found the source of the sound it was actually a parrot prancing around making the clucking sounds of a chicken.
The pirate told the parrot "Stop that clucking. You're not a chicken. You're a parrot. There are no chickens on this bloody island."
The parrot ignored him and continued to prance around saying "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken."
The pirate couldn't believe how stupid the parrot was, so he repeated, "I said, stop that clucking! You're not a chicken! You're a parrot! There are no chickens on this bloody island!"
The parrot ignored him again and pranced around saying "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken."
The pirate took out his knife and this time he said "I'm really hungry, I think I'll eat this stupid chicken!"
As the parrot flew away, he squawked "I'm a parrot! I'm a parrot! There are no stupid chickens on this bloody island!"
There was plenty of fresh water, an abundance of coconuts and tropical fruit, and even a nice cache of rum. Finally, after days of searching, he thought he heard the sound of a chicken clucking.
When he found the source of the sound it was actually a parrot prancing around making the clucking sounds of a chicken.
The pirate told the parrot "Stop that clucking. You're not a chicken. You're a parrot. There are no chickens on this bloody island."
The parrot ignored him and continued to prance around saying "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken."
The pirate couldn't believe how stupid the parrot was, so he repeated, "I said, stop that clucking! You're not a chicken! You're a parrot! There are no chickens on this bloody island!"
The parrot ignored him again and pranced around saying "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken."
The pirate took out his knife and this time he said "I'm really hungry, I think I'll eat this stupid chicken!"
As the parrot flew away, he squawked "I'm a parrot! I'm a parrot! There are no stupid chickens on this bloody island!"
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From: Me cousin who had him a clucking parrot |
On July 16, 2007, captain Just call me The BOBS Fan said:
A guy walks into a pub with a t-shirt that says "Pirates are stupid for 3 reasons!" He walks up to the bar, orders an ale. and sits down. He no more than gets his quaff when a smelly old sot comes up to him and says, "Aaargh, thar, matey! What's that yer shirt be sayin' thar?"
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"
From: Remix of an old inappropriate ethnic joke |
On June 27, 2007, seven sea sailin' Undead Sea Monkey said:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pirate Walking.
Pirate Walking who?
Pirate walking on two wooden legs!
Who's there?
Pirate Walking.
Pirate Walking who?
Pirate walking on two wooden legs!
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From: my arse |
On May 27, 2007, seven sea sailin' Renee said:
To err is human.
To ARRR is pirate.
To ARRR is pirate.
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From: Don't remember |