Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
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On December 17, 2006, captain beardymcbeardbeard said:
There once was a pirate captain, he lorded over the seas. There were none as brave as this pirate captain. One day as the sun was just peeping over the horizon, a crew member awoke to see that there was a ship heading toward their own precious vessel- their own precious vessel that was the home to countless priceless genuine artifacts.

As soon as he spied this unfriendly colony sailing toward his own precious ship, the crewman ran {as fast as he could with only one leg} to his beloved captains quarters crieing out cries of "Captain! captain! Oh one who lords so lordly over the seas, there is a ship nearing these waters! I dont think it wise to remain in slumber whilst such a danger is advancing upon us!"

The captain, tired from a long night partying the previous evening, merely waved his hand at the dedicated crewman and replied "See, thats why I am the captain"
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From: me own head
On November 21, 2006, the scurvy Landen Flanders said:
A pirate had a parrot that wouldn't stop swearing. He tried everything. Finally one day, when the parrot started swearing, he threw it into the freezer and left it there for over an hour.

Finally, the pirate retrieved his parrot from the freezer. The parrot came out, shaken, and said "I promise, I'll be good from now on. But, I have just one question... What did the turkey do?????"
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On September 20, 2006, barnacle bitten Suryakant said:
A pirate walks into a bar. It's a strange looking pirate. The bartender asks him,

"Hey, what's with the green skin and pointy ears?"

The pirate says...
"I'm from MARRRRRRRRRRS!!"
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From: ME OWN GROG-NOGGIN', ARRRRGH !!
On September 19, 2006, the most piratical Bryce said:
A pirate was standing on the crow's nest and then he slipped and fell. He fell through the first floor, then he fell through the second floor, then he fell through the third floor and hit the bottom floor of the ship!

The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"

The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"
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Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: I made it up
On September 18, 2006, the dreaded Mr. T said:
After a particuliarly long fight at sea the winning captain comes ashore to find a large crew of media. The reporters fight to ask questions before the Captain finally singles out one attractive, young reporter, who asks: "Captain, Where did you learn such amazing tactics? was it the Navy?"

The Captain, obviously amused replied:
"Well it sure wasn't the ARRRRRmy!"
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From: A BA in bad humorology