Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
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Crabby Pirate Women's Long Sleeve Dark T-Shirt


On August 22, 2010, barnacle bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...

He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back.

She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself.

Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.

Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.

Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!

He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...

As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!
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On December 23, 2009, scurvy knave Spencer Prentice said:
A pirate is standing in the paper goods aisle of his local grocery store. He's been standing there looking for 30 minutes when the manager comes up and asks, "You have been here for quite awhile sir. Can I help you find something?"

The Pirate turns and says "No matey, I just can't decide between the Bounty or the CHARRRRRRRRmin!"
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From: I made it up myself, sARRRY to say.
On September 15, 2009, chumbucket lickin' Cap'n Scurvy Dog Steve said:
A pirate recently retired and joined the American Association of Retired, Reprehensible, Rapacious, Rabid Guys, otherwise known as AARRRRG!
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From: Dirty-dog Dougo
On January 14, 2009, the dreaded Cap'n Billy the Butcher said:
Top 10 things overheard at the dinner table that show your child is quickly becoming a pirate

(10) "You can flog me, but I'm not eating creamed spinach."

(9) "I've buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes."

(8) "I'll need another ration of grog if you expect me to eat these peas."

(7) "Your tuna noodle casserole would be perfect to fill cracks in the deck."

(6) "This chicken tastes like the parrot I was forced to eat after being marooned on an island for 30 days."

(5) "I wouldn't serve brussel sprouts to even the prisoners in the brig."

(4) "If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to bed?"

(3) "This burger is fatty enough to grease a mast."

(2) "Too many vegetables - too little shark."

(1) "What did they do with the last cook's body after he was hung from the yardarm?"
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From: Me book, GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING
On September 30, 2008, salty ol' Steve said:
A new guy shows up for a job on a pirate ship. He walks into the galley, where all the pirates are eating beans. "I'm here for a job," he said. The pirate captain looks at him, sort of leans over and lets out a long, low, juicy fart. All the pirates start farting, low and long. Soon, the place reeks. The man, wanting to show that he's tough enough to be a pirate tries to fart but only manages a "Squeeeek, poot..."

It all gets quiet on the pirate ship, and the captain stands up, waiving his hook in the air and says: "I get the virgin!"
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From: Miami