Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
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On July 31, 2014, the dreaded Curtis said:
On a pirate ship in high seas, the First Mate was on lookout for hazards from the crow's nest. Suddenly, the ship was broadsided by a rogue wave, tossing the Mate from the nest! He crashed through the upper deck and landed square into the Captain's quarters. The Captain, surprised, says "Matey, ye be hurt!?"

"Narrrr Cap'n," replied the First Mate, "I've been through hardships before!"
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From: Oregon
On June 5, 2013, the sea-bitten Black Eye Joe said:
A Pirate with a Wooden Eye walked into a Scanty Bar.

There he saw a Beautiful Gal drinking alone at the bar, dangling a peg leg over the barstool, and looking lonely.

She had a Harelip but she was a woman he could not over look.

So, he walked on over on his Peg Leg and asked, “Hey little
darling, would you like to belly-up for a few drinks with me,” and she answered, “Would I, Would I,” and the Pirate retorted, “Harelip, Harelip!”
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From: Old as I am or older
On June 3, 2012, the grog-addicted jack said:
A pirate walks into a bar with a huge multi coloured parrot on his shoulder.
The barkeep, amazed at this sight, says "Now where did you get that!?"

The parrot replies "Pirate Bay, the place is loaded with 'em!!"
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From: don't remember
On June 4, 2011, the dreaded Phil said:
A pirate goes to the doctor to figure out why his waist hurts so much.

The doctor examines him, then comes to the conclusion.

"Captain, my dianosis is this. You have Hempatitus."

The captain is awash with fear!

"Argh, how can this be? I've only been with good clean wenches me whole life!"

"No!" replies the doctor. "You have hempatitus. The hemp rope holding up your pants is too tight! You've got Hemp-a-titus!"
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From: Captain Sue Per Crispy
On August 23, 2010, the scurvy Dean Mehling said:
As a child, I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
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From: Emo Phillips