On July 31, 2013, seven-sea sailin' DaddyPirate said:
What's a pirates favorite kind of fish?
A GOLDfish!
From: Captain Lex · Link hearrrre!
Pirate One-Liners
Showing jokes 16–30 of 260 scurvy jokes.
On May 23, 2013, the scurvy Mr Fizzles said:
Why do pirates wear eye patches?
Because they can't afford iPads!
From: me · Link hearrrre!
On April 14, 2013, scurvy dog Andrrrrrrew said:
What's the next pirate Internet sensation?
Planking!!!
From: Andrew Harris · Link hearrrre!
On February 15, 2013, one-legged mike p said:
How does a pirate feel about his spouse?
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's wife for me!
From: mike p · Link hearrrre!
On February 15, 2013, one-eyed mike p said:
How does a pirate clean his ship?
He has a Yarrrrrrrrd sale!
From: mike p · Link hearrrre!
On November 10, 2012, captain Landlubber Wolf said:
What were the last words of the quantum physics-savvy pirate that was made to walk the plank?
"I'd never have thought a Planck length could seem that long!"
From: Inspired by some of the nerdier jokes I found on this site. · Link hearrrre!
On September 18, 2012, the grog-addicted The Anonymous Bilge-Rat said:
Why couldn't the little pirate get into the movie?
Because he'd been brought before the Admiralty on charges of treason and hanged.
Because he'd been brought before the Admiralty on charges of treason and hanged.
A sad story, really. AAAAARen't you ashamed of expecting a joke.
From: A treasure trove beneath the deepest and stormiest seas. (Which is to say, me.) · Link hearrrre!
On May 27, 2012, salty ol' Calvin Agner AKA Capt. Calico Cal Sparrow said:
What is a pirates favorite soft drink?
Arrr-C Cola!
From: Council Bluffs, IA · Link hearrrre!
On May 16, 2012, the dreaded Robin Yardley said:
If you see a person Not wearing a 3 cornered hat, not wearing an eye patch, without a wooden leg and with no parrot on his shoulder. What is he likely to be ?
A pirate in disguise!
From: Its a "Dad joke"...It came to me whilst talking to my daughter about Intrenational Talk Like a Pirate day · Link hearrrre!
On April 24, 2012, land-lubber Richie said:
In Battleship, why do pirates always lose?
Their ships are always on the "C"s!
From: A brain in a Jarrrrr. · Link hearrrre!
On April 22, 2012, regular scallywag Scottish Bob Below Decks said:
A pirate walks into the bar and orders a jug o' grog. Bartender says, "Hey Cap'n, why are ye wearing an eye patch?"
Cap'n says: "Cuz I haven't got enough booty to afford an I-Pad!"
From: Original · Link hearrrre!
On September 22, 2011, the grog-addicted Mark T Verbon said:
Why don't Pirates use the metric system?
Because they like to say YARRRRRRRRRD!
From: I made it up · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2011, one-legged Frank said:
Pirates get a bad rep. They're not all bad.
Granted, they're not saints, but many have been cannonized!!
From: Self · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2011, barnacle-bitten Jason Rrrrr Everitt said:
Who cleans the Pirate Captain's bedroom?
A Mer-Maid!
From: Yep, it's me · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2011, scurvy knave Jason Rrrrr Everitt said:
How do Pirates cook their salmon?
On a cedar plank!
From: Me again · Link hearrrre!