Arr, ye've been boarded!

Prepare to be gutted with laughs, quartered by puns, and made to walk the plank of ARRRRRs. Today we carry 1,066 jokes below deck.

On April 17, 2007, chumbucket-lickin' Jeff McGuinness said:

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he is waiting for it he spots a pirate sitting in the corner of the bar. The pirate has two wooden arms and two wooden legs. Naturally curious, the man gets his drink, walks over to the pirate and asks, "Excuse me sir, I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help noticing that you have two wooden arms and two wooden legs. You must have been involved in some fierce sea battles?"

The pirate looked up, paused and said, "Arrrr no... me father was a tree!"

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From: Dave 'The Legend' McConnell · Link hearrrre!

Fire starboard — another joke! 🏴‍☠️

Chart yer course

Browse every joke in the hold, the mighty ARR! jokes, quick one-liners, salty pirate stories, the dreaded Top 20, or the Cap'n's own favorites. Got a good one? Leave yer booty here.

Fresh from the Captain's Blarrrg (September 19, 2016):
“Ahoy matey, and another happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to ye! We've swabbed the deck with some new pirate jokes, full of AYE-Phones and Uberrrrrrrrrs, yarrrgh! I'd like to share with…” Read on!