- These be jokes 81 - 90 of 20 scurvy jokes!
On September 18, 2015, regular scallywag Crafted by Will, posted by Drew said:
What do you get when you teach pirates how to sing?
Harrrr-mony!
|
  |
|
From: Barbershop Singing Convention in Tampa Bay during annual Pirate Festival |
On July 16, 2007, chumbucket lickin' Just call me The BOBS Fan said:
A guy walks into a pub with a t-shirt that says "Pirates are stupid for 3 reasons!" He walks up to the bar, orders an ale. and sits down. He no more than gets his quaff when a smelly old sot comes up to him and says, "Aaargh, thar, matey! What's that yer shirt be sayin' thar?"
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"
|
|
|
|
From: Remix of an old inappropriate ethnic joke |
On May 19, 2010, seven sea sailin' Michael Baker said:
Where do pirates sell their old ships?
At the YARRRRRRRRRD SAIL!!!
|
|
|
|
From: Me own treasure cove |
On May 4, 2014, one-legged CaptFunBad said:
Why did the pirate give up golf?
He kept hooking the ball!
|
|
|
|
From: Meself I thinks |
On January 4, 2011, the grog-addicted AAARRRRRON! said:
What does a pirate think of this joke?
Its GAAAAARBAGE!!
|
|
|
|
From: Manchestaaaarrrr! |
On May 21, 2007, captain Kasey said:
What does a pirate with heartburn say?
Arrrr, me hearty!
|
|
|
|
From: me |
On September 22, 2011, the dreaded Mark T Verbon said:
Why don't Pirates use the metric system?
Because they like to say YARRRRRRRRRD!
|
|
|
|
From: I made it up |
On September 19, 2007, scurvy dog Robert Moore said:
Why don't pirates make good life guards?
They dont know C.P. ARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
From: A BARRRRRRR |
On October 2, 2006, land-lubber Bruin said:
How many pirates does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the light bulb, and two to resuscitate the forth pirate who got his hook caught in the socket!
|
|
|
|
From: me brain |
On June 18, 2007, regular scallywag Steph said:
What's funny about a black pirate?
Nothing, ye scurvy racist!
|
|
|
