Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
Pirate booty! Pirate merchandise for sale

Wee Pirate Skull - Adults Dark T-Shirt


On February 25, 2008, the most piratical iiawg the terrible! said:
How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: I made it up.
On June 16, 2009, one-legged Captain "Cannon Balls" MacFadyen said:
Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten?
Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!!
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: deep inside me pirate gullet
On September 19, 2006, barnacle bitten Genevieve Atkerson said:
Why is pirating addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: Genevieve Atkerrrson
On March 24, 2005, the scurvy Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances

The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"
Rate this joke!
Rate this salty joke a 1 (currently 3.8743)Rate this salty joke a 2 (currently 3.8743)Rate this salty joke a 3 (currently 3.8743)Rate this salty joke a 4 (currently 3.8743)Rate this salty joke a 5 (currently 3.8743)
On March 20, 2005, one-eyed Cap'n Karikas said:
So a pirate walks into a bar, okay, and swaggers up to the barkeep and demands a glass of rum. I believe his exact words were "Your rum or your life, dog, what'll it be?".

And so the bartender, being a reasonable fellow, makes no complaint but simply grabs a large glass, a bottle of fine dark rum, and begins to pour. And while he's waiting for the glass to fill (this being, as I said before, a large glass) he sizes up the pirate, having never seen a real honest-to-God pirate before.

This pirate is in full pirate gear. Gold earrings, patch over the eye, a big filthy white blouse covering his swarthy chest, tattoos everywhere, all of it. But protruding from his pirate trousers is the unmistakable form of a steering wheel.

Well, the bartender sees that the glass of rum is just about topped off, so he passes the glass across the bar to the pirate, who nods curtly and takes a huge swig of the rum. Slapping a dubloon on the bartop, he turns to walk away, when our bartender's curiousity gets the best of him.

"Wait, one second. What's up with the steering wheel?"

And the pirate turns back and fixes him with a beady glare from his lone eye. "Arrr, I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
On March 15, 2006, the grog-addicted Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: WonTon's mom
On November 17, 2010, one-eyed First Mate Albert said:
What's the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One's a rumbling tummy, and the other's a tumbling rummy!
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: The briny depths of my ARRmagination.
On September 28, 2007, the most piratical The BOBS Fan said:
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Rookie!
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: Me own charred remains of a brain
On September 14, 2013, barnacle bitten Kurrrrt said:
What do pirates use telephones for?
Booty calls.
(Aaaaaaaarrr.)
Rate this joke!
Rate this salty joke a 1 (currently 3.8333)Rate this salty joke a 2 (currently 3.8333)Rate this salty joke a 3 (currently 3.8333)Rate this salty joke a 4 (currently 3.8333)Rate this salty joke a 5 (currently 3.8333)
From: personal experience
On January 28, 2007, the dreaded Sarah said:
What's Captain Hook's favorite store?
The Secondhand Shop!
Rate this joke!
Arrr, ye've already voted - vote again and ye'll sleep with Davy Jones!
From: Webkinz.com
Back one page, ye lilly-livered land lubber!
1
2
Next page, ye scurvy curr