Yarrgh, ye scurvy dog!
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On March 14, 2010, regular scallywag Belladonna said:
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
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From: Common sense
On June 16, 2009, the scurvy Captain "Cannon Balls" MacFadyen said:
Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten?
Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!!
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From: deep inside me pirate gullet
On September 19, 2006, the grog-addicted Genevieve Atkerson said:
Why is pirating addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
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From: Genevieve Atkerrrson
On March 24, 2005, scurvy knave Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances

The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"
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On March 20, 2005, barnacle bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
So a pirate walks into a bar, okay, and swaggers up to the barkeep and demands a glass of rum. I believe his exact words were "Your rum or your life, dog, what'll it be?".

And so the bartender, being a reasonable fellow, makes no complaint but simply grabs a large glass, a bottle of fine dark rum, and begins to pour. And while he's waiting for the glass to fill (this being, as I said before, a large glass) he sizes up the pirate, having never seen a real honest-to-God pirate before.

This pirate is in full pirate gear. Gold earrings, patch over the eye, a big filthy white blouse covering his swarthy chest, tattoos everywhere, all of it. But protruding from his pirate trousers is the unmistakable form of a steering wheel.

Well, the bartender sees that the glass of rum is just about topped off, so he passes the glass across the bar to the pirate, who nods curtly and takes a huge swig of the rum. Slapping a dubloon on the bartop, he turns to walk away, when our bartender's curiousity gets the best of him.

"Wait, one second. What's up with the steering wheel?"

And the pirate turns back and fixes him with a beady glare from his lone eye. "Arrr, I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
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On March 15, 2006, the most piratical Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
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From: WonTon's mom
On September 14, 2013, the most piratical Kurrrrt said:
What do pirates use telephones for?
Booty calls.
(Aaaaaaaarrr.)
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From: personal experience
On November 17, 2010, chumbucket lickin' First Mate Albert said:
What's the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One's a rumbling tummy, and the other's a tumbling rummy!
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From: The briny depths of my ARRmagination.
On September 28, 2007, the sea-bitten The BOBS Fan said:
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Rookie!
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From: Me own charred remains of a brain
On January 28, 2007, the scurvy Sarah said:
What's Captain Hook's favorite store?
The Secondhand Shop!
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From: Webkinz.com
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