On April 24, 2012, land-lubber Richie said:
In Battleship, why do pirates always lose?
Their ships are always on the "C"s!
From: A brain in a Jarrrrr. · Link hearrrre!
Pirate One-Liners
Showing jokes 61–75 of 260 scurvy jokes.
On December 23, 2008, the sea-bitten robby said:
What did the 86 year old Pirate get for his birthday?
Arrrrrthitis!
From: cerebral carrrrrtex · Link hearrrre!
On November 18, 2009, seven-sea sailin' James Craven said:
What's a pirate's favorite golf shot?
The Hook! Right into the water.
From: Made it all up... · Link hearrrre!
On May 31, 2005, one-eyed Cap'n Karikas said:
Two pirate ships were crossing the ocean, one with a booty of red paint and one with a blue paint. What happened when the ships collided?
They were marooned!
From: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists: A Novel by Gideon Defoe · Link hearrrre!
On March 24, 2005, chumbucket-lickin' Cap'n Karikas said:
I don't know if you guys have heard about this new Pirate corn they've got now.
I guess it's going to be like a buck an ear.
From: http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2003-1-13 · Link hearrrre!
On July 1, 2015, land-lubber scurvy dog said:
Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"?
Because he's only got one eye.
On September 20, 2007, scurvy dog Matt Sprinkle said:
What do you call a pirate who can't conduct a good raid?
The pillage idiot. Har!
From: I made it up yesterday at a pirate party, but maybe someone else has already done it. It is kind of obvious. In fact maybe it's more of a viking joke now that I think about it... · Link hearrrre!
On September 12, 2007, the sea-bitten Robyn Irving said:
Why didn't the pirate take a shower before walking the plank?
He knew he would wash up on the shore later anyway!
From: my brain (adapted it from an old Natalie Wood joke) · Link hearrrre!
On April 7, 2010, barnacle-bitten James Craven said:
What's a pirate's favorite movie?
"Booty and the Beast"!
From: The guys at SportsNation 3/23/10 · Link hearrrre!
On June 14, 2007, scurvy knave Ken R. said:
What did the pirate say at the golf course?
I may tee.
From: Made it up. · Link hearrrre!
On September 30, 2006, captain Bruin said:
What are pirates a part of?
Avast Conspiracy!
From: Me · Link hearrrre!
On August 18, 2006, chumbucket-lickin' Barbi said:
What does a pirate take for indigestion?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of Tums!
From: My twisted mind · Link hearrrre!
On April 22, 2012, regular scallywag Scottish Bob Below Decks said:
A pirate walks into the bar and orders a jug o' grog. Bartender says, "Hey Cap'n, why are ye wearing an eye patch?"
Cap'n says: "Cuz I haven't got enough booty to afford an I-Pad!"
From: Original · Link hearrrre!
On September 30, 2005, scurvy dog Cap'n Karikas said:
There was once a pirate who wanted to be a Private Eye. Unfortunately, he was blind. So what did he become?
A privateer!
From: http://capn_rummy.tripod.com/id7.html · Link hearrrre!
On June 29, 2009, barnacle-bitten sam-i-am said:
Why would a pirate be afraid of a woman?
He's afraid he'll get hooked on her!!!
From: my friends crazy head! · Link hearrrre!