On September 12, 2008, barnacle-bitten Ryan Huber said:
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
From: Original · Link hearrrre!
The Cap’n’s Own Favorites
On February 20, 2007, seven-sea sailin' Cap'n KaySwissBouillabaisseParrotHookClaw said:
What did the pirate say when he visited piratejokes.net?
Harr Harrr HAAARRRR!!
From: My own waaaarrrrrrped brain. · Link hearrrre!
On January 28, 2007, the sea-bitten Sarah said:
What's Captain Hook's favorite store?
The Secondhand Shop!
From: Webkinz.com · Link hearrrre!
On March 14, 2010, one-legged Belladonna said:
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
From: Common sense · Link hearrrre!
On September 14, 2013, salty ol' Kurrrrt said:
What do pirates use telephones for?
Booty calls.
(Aaaaaaaarrr.)
(Aaaaaaaarrr.)
From: personal experience · Link hearrrre!
On March 20, 2005, barnacle-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
So a pirate walks into a bar, okay, and swaggers up to the barkeep and demands a glass of rum. I believe his exact words were "Your rum or your life, dog, what'll it be?".
And so the bartender, being a reasonable fellow, makes no complaint but simply grabs a large glass, a bottle of fine dark rum, and begins to pour. And while he's waiting for the glass to fill (this being, as I said before, a large glass) he sizes up the pirate, having never seen a real honest-to-God pirate before.
This pirate is in full pirate gear. Gold earrings, patch over the eye, a big filthy white blouse covering his swarthy chest, tattoos everywhere, all of it. But protruding from his pirate trousers is the unmistakable form of a steering wheel.
Well, the bartender sees that the glass of rum is just about topped off, so he passes the glass across the bar to the pirate, who nods curtly and takes a huge swig of the rum. Slapping a dubloon on the bartop, he turns to walk away, when our bartender's curiousity gets the best of him.
"Wait, one second. What's up with the steering wheel?"
And the pirate turns back and fixes him with a beady glare from his lone eye. "Arrr, I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
And so the bartender, being a reasonable fellow, makes no complaint but simply grabs a large glass, a bottle of fine dark rum, and begins to pour. And while he's waiting for the glass to fill (this being, as I said before, a large glass) he sizes up the pirate, having never seen a real honest-to-God pirate before.
This pirate is in full pirate gear. Gold earrings, patch over the eye, a big filthy white blouse covering his swarthy chest, tattoos everywhere, all of it. But protruding from his pirate trousers is the unmistakable form of a steering wheel.
Well, the bartender sees that the glass of rum is just about topped off, so he passes the glass across the bar to the pirate, who nods curtly and takes a huge swig of the rum. Slapping a dubloon on the bartop, he turns to walk away, when our bartender's curiousity gets the best of him.
"Wait, one second. What's up with the steering wheel?"
And the pirate turns back and fixes him with a beady glare from his lone eye. "Arrr, I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
From: http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=668362 · Link hearrrre!
On March 15, 2006, regular scallywag Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
From: WonTon's mom · Link hearrrre!
On May 13, 2014, the most piratical Medicine Moll said:
What is a pirate's least favourite vegetable?
Leeks!
From: Spanish waters · Link hearrrre!
On July 22, 2010, the most piratical James Craven said:
Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?
To buy an iPatch! (Aye Patch)
From: Colin Cowherd, ESPN SportsNation · Link hearrrre!
On September 28, 2007, scurvy knave The BOBS Fan said:
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Rookie!
From: Me own charred remains of a brain · Link hearrrre!
On July 27, 2006, the sea-bitten Jim V. said:
Did you hear about the pirate who took up boxing?
He had a killer left hook!
From: Inspired by a "Rhymes With Orange" comic · Link hearrrre!
On January 23, 2014, the dreaded Morien Jones said:
What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
I, I, R, and the 7 Cs.
On March 19, 2005, chumbucket-lickin' Cap'n Karikas said:
A little boy dresses up as a pirate for halloween. He has a bit of a speech impediment. The first house he goes to he says, "I'm a birate. This is my barrot. Can I have some bandy?" The woman looks at him and says, "My my aren't you cute. But where are your buccaneers?" The boy looks are her angrily and says "On the side of my buckin head you buckin dumass."
From: http://expage.com/bd2piratejokes · Link hearrrre!
On July 4, 2006, scurvy dog jennifer brown breath said:
What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?
Arrr! Me heartie!
From: Who knows? · Link hearrrre!
On March 15, 2006, captain Cap'n Karikas said:
What's really a pirate's favorite letter?
P! Because it's an R, but it's missing a leg!
From: www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mmmmiKo · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2005, the most piratical Cap'n Karikas said:
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
From: http://www.ratemypiratejoke.com/rate/showjoke.jsp?id=61 · Link hearrrre!
On May 8, 2006, one-legged Cook of naval vessel "The IncapacitatAAAAAHHHHR" said:
What do pirates do in the evenings?
Your mothAAAHHHRRRRR!!
From: me · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, salty ol' Cap'n Karikas said:
What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
8 pirates.
From: http://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/joke-pirate_jokes-8553.htm · Link hearrrre!
On May 27, 2007, scurvy dog Renee said:
To err is human.
To ARRR is pirate.
To ARRR is pirate.
From: Don't remember · Link hearrrre!
On November 11, 2007, barnacle-bitten Saltyfighter on Puzzle Pirates said:
What do you get when you cross a pirate with a zuchnni?
A Squashbuckler!!!
From: A valentine card form last year. · Link hearrrre!
On September 22, 2006, land-lubber owen said:
What goes thump-thump Arr!, thump-thump Arr!?
A pirate falling down the stairs!
From: one of the best, most tolerant teaching assistants ever · Link hearrrre!
On May 11, 2006, the scurvy Captain Karikas said:
What does a pirate and a pimp have in common?
They both say YO HO!
From: http://pirates.extrabigfoot.com/other.php · Link hearrrre!
On September 9, 2010, seven-sea sailin' Pirate lass Laura said:
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Aye. Ye might say aarrrrgon, but no, it's the element of surprise!
From: Kevin Keel-haul-em-all Beals · Link hearrrre!
On February 3, 2011, salty ol' Canoedad said:
How do pirates pay for a round o' rum down at the pub?
With Bar-Nickels!
From: Me own scurvy brain! · Link hearrrre!
On November 21, 2006, scurvy knave Landen Flanders said:
A pirate had a parrot that wouldn't stop swearing. He tried everything. Finally one day, when the parrot started swearing, he threw it into the freezer and left it there for over an hour.
Finally, the pirate retrieved his parrot from the freezer. The parrot came out, shaken, and said "I promise, I'll be good from now on. But, I have just one question... What did the turkey do?????"
Finally, the pirate retrieved his parrot from the freezer. The parrot came out, shaken, and said "I promise, I'll be good from now on. But, I have just one question... What did the turkey do?????"
On March 26, 2005, the dreaded Cap'n Karikas said:
Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap?
So, if they're shipwrecked they can wash themselves to shore.
From: http://www.aucklandcitylibraries.com/general.aspx?ct=470&id=2365 · Link hearrrre!
On May 17, 2006, scurvy knave The Bone. said:
What kind of phone calls do pirates make late at night?
Arrr, they be makin' BOOTY calls!
From: Aye! From my vast brain powarrrr! · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, barnacle-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate with an eye patch seemed down at a bar. The bartender asked, "What's wrong?" The pirate replied, "Arrrgh, they wanted me to be a teacher... but I only had one pupil!"
From: http://www.ratemypiratejoke.com/rate/showjoke.jsp?id=76 · Link hearrrre!
On June 21, 2007, scurvy knave BrianYeButcher said:
The people that make all of these ARR! jokes should be what?
ARRested!
From: The Questionable Humor Of Others · Link hearrrre!
On October 10, 2009, scurvy dog Courtland said:
Why don't pirates go to college?
Because they're C students!
From: it's been done · Link hearrrre!
On June 10, 2011, the most piratical Captain Rita Book--Mistress of the C'hai Seas said:
What do Jewish Pirates say?
Ahoy vey!
On September 19, 2007, captain Robert Moore said:
Why don't pirates make good life guards?
They dont know C.P. ARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
From: A BARRRRRRR · Link hearrrre!
On September 23, 2008, scurvy knave totempole said:
How did the pirate raise his mast?
He used a wench!
From: me SKUUULL! · Link hearrrre!
On March 15, 2006, one-legged Cap'n Karikas (Danise in Florida) said:
A pirate captain walks into a bar with his first mate and they sit down at the bar. Now, the pirate captain has been a little down on his luck in the world of women, know what I mean? His first mate notices some lovely piratical wenches across the bar.
"Arr, cap'n, you should go o'er thar and talk to her, ask her to dance, aye?"
The captain replied "Arrrr, but what about me one eye? What if she makes fun of it?"
"Don't worry cap'n," said the first mate. "She only has one leg! She won't say anything with that one peg leg."
Convinced, the captain went over and immediately impressed the lady as pirates will do. He asked her if she'd like to dance.
"Would EYE, Would EYE!" she exclaimed.
"Oh yeah? Well... Peg Leg! Peg Leg!" replied the insulted captain!
"Arr, cap'n, you should go o'er thar and talk to her, ask her to dance, aye?"
The captain replied "Arrrr, but what about me one eye? What if she makes fun of it?"
"Don't worry cap'n," said the first mate. "She only has one leg! She won't say anything with that one peg leg."
Convinced, the captain went over and immediately impressed the lady as pirates will do. He asked her if she'd like to dance.
"Would EYE, Would EYE!" she exclaimed.
"Oh yeah? Well... Peg Leg! Peg Leg!" replied the insulted captain!
From: www.oxfordrealty.com · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, scurvy dog Cap'n Karikas said:
What do you call a pedophile pirate?
AARRRRGGH Kelly!!
From: http://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/joke-pirate_jokes-8480.htm · Link hearrrre!
On May 31, 2009, one-legged an Anonymous Pirate said:
Why did the pirate get an A+ in debate class?
Because he loved to ARRRRRRgue!
From: Me skull! · Link hearrrre!
On February 15, 2013, one-eyed mike p said:
How does a pirate clean his ship?
He has a Yarrrrrrrrd sale!
From: mike p · Link hearrrre!
On January 5, 2007, chumbucket-lickin' Brad said:
Pirate 1: Arr, did you know I'm part Native American?
Pirate 2: Oh really, What tribe?
Pirate 2: Oh really, What tribe?
Pirate 1: Eye-patchy!
From: Me wench made it up · Link hearrrre!
On April 24, 2012, land-lubber Richie said:
In Battleship, why do pirates always lose?
Their ships are always on the "C"s!
From: A brain in a Jarrrrr. · Link hearrrre!
On August 18, 2006, chumbucket-lickin' Barbi said:
What does a pirate take for indigestion?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of Tums!
From: My twisted mind · Link hearrrre!
On September 30, 2005, scurvy dog Cap'n Karikas said:
There was once a pirate who wanted to be a Private Eye. Unfortunately, he was blind. So what did he become?
A privateer!
From: http://capn_rummy.tripod.com/id7.html · Link hearrrre!
On June 27, 2007, seven-sea sailin' Sebi said:
Why couldn't the pirate hear?
'Cuz he had no buccan-ears!
From: from me head · Link hearrrre!
On April 17, 2007, chumbucket-lickin' Jeff McGuinness said:
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he is waiting for it he spots a pirate sitting in the corner of the bar. The pirate has two wooden arms and two wooden legs. Naturally curious, the man gets his drink, walks over to the pirate and asks, "Excuse me sir, I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help noticing that you have two wooden arms and two wooden legs. You must have been involved in some fierce sea battles?"
The pirate looked up, paused and said, "Arrrr no... me father was a tree!"
The pirate looked up, paused and said, "Arrrr no... me father was a tree!"
From: Dave 'The Legend' McConnell · Link hearrrre!
On May 15, 2009, the sea-bitten Ranzoon said:
Why do pirates like to play Chinese Checkers?
Because it's got a star board!!!!
From: I made it up · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, the grog-addicted Cap'n Karikas said:
What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!
From: http://www.prometheusradio.org/piratejokes.html · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2005, one-legged Robert Bolton said:
What did the pirate say when someone asked him if he knew any pirate jokes?
Arrrrr you kidding me...
From: my heart and soul · Link hearrrre!
On March 23, 2007, one-legged ryan evelyth said:
How does a pirate smuggle drugs across the border?
He hides them in his booty!
From: meats o' the brain · Link hearrrre!
On May 20, 2006, the most piratical Jonny Bucco said:
What does a pirate from Boston say?
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
From: Santa Cruz · Link hearrrre!
On December 4, 2007, scurvy knave Jolly Holly said:
How does a pirate say "thank you" in Japanese?
ARRRRRigato!!!
From: The Jolly Holly · Link hearrrre!
On February 21, 2010, the scurvy Kimmy said:
What do you call a pirate with a peg leg on ice?
A protractor!!!
From: myself · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2007, barnacle-bitten Jake Tran said:
Why do all pirates have eyepatches?
Chuck Norris.
On July 7, 2007, regular scallywag Cap'n Karikas said:
When is a pirate like a bird?
When he's a-robbin'!
From: Scott Rudolph · Link hearrrre!
On March 9, 2008, seven-sea sailin' Pete Allegretta said:
Whats a pirate's favorite part of a birthday party?
Da-Balloons!
From: original · Link hearrrre!
On July 12, 2006, the grog-addicted Jimmy said:
What did the pirate say when he couldn't find his ship?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY SHIP?!?
From: Unknown · Link hearrrre!
On February 15, 2013, one-legged mike p said:
How does a pirate feel about his spouse?
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's wife for me!
From: mike p · Link hearrrre!
On February 3, 2011, seven-sea sailin' pap chmeer said:
What is a pirate minus a ship?
A creative homless guy!!
From: me head · Link hearrrre!
On April 14, 2013, scurvy dog Andrrrrrrew said:
What's the next pirate Internet sensation?
Planking!!!
From: Andrew Harris · Link hearrrre!
On May 2, 2006, seven-sea sailin' Sarikka said:
What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
The Arrrmy... no, the Navy, he's a pirate!
From: Catalina Island Marine Institute · Link hearrrre!
On October 5, 2006, the scurvy Capt' Bozo said:
Why don't pirates play sports?
There is no AYE in team!
From: Morning coffee · Link hearrrre!
On August 17, 2007, the dreaded Alika said:
What is the name of the pirate tax office?
The Aye. Arrr. S!
From: I might have made it up but am not sure about that (don't want to pirate someone else's joke after all) · Link hearrrre!
On March 14, 2009, the sea-bitten Burt Johnson said:
Do you know any pirate jokes?
Neither do "ayyyyyy!"
From: My mind · Link hearrrre!
On October 5, 2009, land-lubber Tim M said:
Why did the baseball coach put the pirate in Center Field?
'Cause he had a cannon!! Arrrgh!
From: Baseball · Link hearrrre!
On October 22, 2006, land-lubber an Anonymous Pirate said:
Why did the pirate have a heart attack?
He had a clogged ARRRRrrrr-tery!!
On June 11, 2007, regular scallywag piping plover said:
Why do pirates go to the opera?
For the arrrrias and high c's!
From: Captain Mongo · Link hearrrre!
On September 20, 2009, the sea-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
Arr, they say that pirates are real tough. So tough, that they don't ever cry! But...
That's not true. They do cry, but when they do, it's a private tear!
From: Mud Bay Jugglers at 2009 Portland Pirate Festival · Link hearrrre!
On April 9, 2008, one-eyed Joseph said:
What do Mexican pirates eat?
Chili con cAAAARRRRrne!!!!
On December 18, 2005, seven-sea sailin' Cap'n Karikas said:
What do you call 1000 pirates in a room?
Avast conspiracy!
From: http://www.ratemypiratejoke.com/rate/showjoke.jsp?id=66 · Link hearrrre!
On July 8, 2006, the dreaded Pedro said:
What's a pirate's favorite play in basketball?
A HOOK-SHOT!
On March 21, 2009, scurvy knave Genesis Phrigustus said:
A pirate walks into a bar... bang!
Curse you eye patch and your side effect of poor depth perception!
From: Genesis Phrigustus (made it up off the top of my head) · Link hearrrre!
On May 1, 2006, the sea-bitten Rob S. said:
What's a pirate's favorite pickup line?
AAAAArrrrrr ya free Saturday night?
On November 22, 2009, the scurvy Dawson said:
What did the pirate say when someone tried to steal his turkey?
No matey, that's ARRRR turkey!!!
From: Me noggin · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, the most piratical Cap'n Karikas said:
How do you keep a pirate from robbing your house?
Fill you lawn with beavers!
From: http://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/joke-pirate_jokes-1747.htm · Link hearrrre!
On May 16, 2012, the dreaded Robin Yardley said:
If you see a person Not wearing a 3 cornered hat, not wearing an eye patch, without a wooden leg and with no parrot on his shoulder. What is he likely to be ?
A pirate in disguise!
From: Its a "Dad joke"...It came to me whilst talking to my daughter about Intrenational Talk Like a Pirate day · Link hearrrre!
On July 16, 2006, scurvy knave Michael Capitano said:
Where did the Pirate learn to draw his sword?
At the ARRRRT Institute!
From: Orcas Island · Link hearrrre!
On October 2, 2012, the dreaded an Anonymous Pirate said:
What did the pirate say when he lost his socks?
Where ARRR my socks?
From: Patrick Henry High School · Link hearrrre!
On September 22, 2008, salty ol' liam said:
What does a pirate say when he falls of a building?
Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
From: things come from thing that come from people · Link hearrrre!
On June 20, 2006, one-legged Valarie said:
What does pirate's dog say?
Aaaarrrrrf!
From: Louisville, KY · Link hearrrre!
On April 21, 2010, seven-sea sailin' an Anonymous Pirate said:
Twittaaaaaaaarrr.....
that's it.
On April 9, 2006, one-legged Jeremy McCormick said:
Where do pirates put their stuff at the gym?
In Davey Jones' Locker.
From: myself · Link hearrrre!
On March 12, 2006, the most piratical damo said:
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Illsick.
Illsick who?
Who's there?
Illsick.
Illsick who?
Illsick ya in Davey Jones' locker if ya don't let me in!
From: 40 langdale road · Link hearrrre!
On July 14, 2006, captain Christopher said:
What did the pet store sales clerk ask the pirate when he was buying his parrot?
So will that be cash, check, or chaaahhhrrrge?
From: my own head · Link hearrrre!
On May 29, 2007, one-legged Tony said:
What rating did the MPAA give to the pirate movie?
PG-13, because it contained graphic violence, salty language and pAAAAArrrr-tial nudity!
From: Me · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, captain Cap'n Karikas said:
What does a pirate say when he really likes a song?
ARRRGH that was off the hook!
From: http://expage.com/bd2piratejokes · Link hearrrre!
On June 14, 2006, one-legged William said:
Whats do get when you put a pirate and a Ninja together?
A Ninjarrrrrrr!
From: My brother · Link hearrrre!
On December 1, 2008, salty ol' First Mate Purcell said:
What did the pirate say when he stubbed his toe?
DARRRRRN!!!!
From: My friend Har V D · Link hearrrre!
On December 15, 2008, captain yarrrrrrrr mom said:
What did the pirate throw at George W. Bush?
His Sketcharrrrrrrrs!!!
From: a drunk night at the barrrrrrrr · Link hearrrre!
On May 7, 2007, barnacle-bitten brad said:
what does a pirate say when he runs into an ex-girlfriend?
AkwARRRrrrrrd!
From: kyle · Link hearrrre!
On June 22, 2010, the sea-bitten Taylor said:
How does a parrot start a knock knock joke?
Squawk, squawk!
From: my brain · Link hearrrre!
On September 17, 2007, salty ol' Charles said:
Being the son of God, Jesus obviously couldn't grow up to be a pirate, so what did he decide to be?
A CARRRRpenter!
From: made it up · Link hearrrre!
On November 22, 2009, scurvy knave Ashly said:
What did the pirate say to the little girl?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrren't you an ugly little thing??!!!!
From: My aunt and uncle and l made it up!! · Link hearrrre!
On March 8, 2006, the dreaded Robert Paul McMahon said:
How many pirates with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Want to steal loot.
From: cause ADD is a mental disease that makes you have a short attention span · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, regular scallywag Cap'n Karikas said:
After a pirate's parrot dies, what does he do with it?
He BAAAAAAAAAAAARGH-B-Cues it.
From: http://expage.com/bd2piratejokes · Link hearrrre!
On June 3, 2006, the sea-bitten Me name be Bonnie from Beaufarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt near the Arrrrrrrrrch said:
Why did the two pirate captains have a fight?
Because they're ARRRrrrch enemies!
From: From me brain me hearties!!!!! · Link hearrrre!
On August 24, 2007, seven-sea sailin' an Anonymous Pirate said:
Why couldn't the pirate make the gymnastics team?
Because he couldn't do a CAAAAAAARRRGGGHT-wheel!
On September 27, 2006, seven-sea sailin' Haley Smith said:
What does a pirate call an open door?
Ajarrrrrrrrr!
From: Haley Smith · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2006, salty ol' James said:
How do pirates like their meat?
ChAARRRRRRrrred!
From: On the way home from work after hearing about pirate jokes with AARRR · Link hearrrre!
On May 20, 2008, salty ol' canoedad said:
How did the captains of Spanish treasure ships keep their cool?
They wore anti-pers-pirate!!!
From: my twisted imagination · Link hearrrre!
On June 7, 2006, chumbucket-lickin' Andy said:
3 pirates walk into a bar...
Ouch!
From: Omar · Link hearrrre!
On August 3, 2006, barnacle-bitten Dean said:
What do you say to a pirate who cannot see out of his left eye?
Take off the patch ye scurvy pirate!
From: Australia · Link hearrrre!
On March 20, 2005, barnacle-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
How do pirates know when they are about to be attacked?
They watch Sea-span!
From: http://www.industrialtheatre.org/pirate_jokes.htm · Link hearrrre!
On March 17, 2009, the dreaded ARRR it be Dougle McDoulglas said:
What did the pirate say to your mum?
ARRRRRRn't you a pretty lass?!!!!
From: Me own two feet · Link hearrrre!
On March 25, 2007, the dreaded Eve said:
What does a pirate say to his dog when it's time to go for a walk?
Arrrgh, it's time to walk the plank ye sea dog!
From: imagination · Link hearrrre!
On September 12, 2007, the scurvy John-Peter said:
A pirate was on Wheel of Fortune, and it was his turn. The pirate said...
We'll try for an ARRRRHH!!
From: father · Link hearrrre!
On May 24, 2007, land-lubber Myke said:
What did the Canadian Pirate name his son?
Aaron. There's 2 "Eh"s and an "ARRR!!"
From: we made it up at work one day... · Link hearrrre!
On March 22, 2007, chumbucket-lickin' Bos'n's mate said:
Why do pirates like popsicles?
Arrrrrrtifical flavors!
From: me · Link hearrrre!
On July 25, 2008, the most piratical Marcus said:
Why did the pirate run aground?
His eye-patch was the wrong prescription!
From: Los Angeles · Link hearrrre!
On May 11, 2006, barnacle-bitten Captain Karikas said:
What do pirates have in common with serial killers?
They both have pieces of eight lying about the house!
From: http://www.yuksrus.com/pirate.html · Link hearrrre!
On July 2, 2006, the scurvy Anis Abuzeid said:
On a scale from 1-10 I rate cherry pie an 11!
That's my famous "pie rate" joke!
That's my famous "pie rate" joke!
From: The infamous "Blue Q" · Link hearrrre!
On September 20, 2006, the grog-addicted Suryakant said:
A pirate walks into a bar. It's a strange looking pirate. The bartender asks him,
"Hey, what's with the green skin and pointy ears?"
The pirate says...
"I'm from MARRRRRRRRRRS!!"
"Hey, what's with the green skin and pointy ears?"
The pirate says...
"I'm from MARRRRRRRRRRS!!"
From: ME OWN GROG-NOGGIN', ARRRRGH !! · Link hearrrre!
On November 8, 2009, barnacle-bitten Ashly said:
What do pirates hate the most???
A broken HEARRRRRRT!!!
From: My aunt and uncle and Pizza Hut!!! · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, salty ol' Cap'n Karikas said:
Why did the pirate ship look so good?
They used varrrrrrrnish!
From: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/book/-/sort_byDesignScore/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.10146680/pNo_10146680/id_3091597/opt_/pg_/c_/fpt_ · Link hearrrre!
On June 16, 2009, scurvy dog Captain "Cannon Balls" MacFadyen said:
Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten?
Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!!
From: deep inside me pirate gullet · Link hearrrre!
On August 13, 2005, scurvy knave Cap'n Karikas said:
Why did the pirate speak so clearly?
He was very ARRRRrrrrrticulate!
From: Me noggin' · Link hearrrre!
On August 14, 2007, the most piratical Marlo Diaz said:
What's white and hops around a pirate ship?
Arrrrrrrrrabbit!
From: San Diego, California · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, one-eyed Cap'n Karikas said:
What is a pirate's favorite snack?
Marrrrrrshmallows!
From: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/book/-/sort_byDesignScore/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.10146680/pNo_10146680/id_3091597/opt_/pg_/c_/fpt_ · Link hearrrre!
On June 27, 2006, the grog-addicted Francis Mad Tongue said:
Which pirate song won an Oscar for best original ditty in 2006?
It's HARRRrrrrrd Out Here for a Pimp!
From: Made it up myself · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2006, captain Genevieve Atkerson said:
What is a pirate receptionist scared of?
Getting CAAARRRRRpal Tunnel!
From: Genevieve Atkerrrson · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, captain Cap'n Karikas said:
What is a pirate's favorite baseball team?
The Pirates (duh!)
From: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/book/-/sort_byDesignScore/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.10146680/pNo_10146680/id_3091597/opt_/pg_/c_/fpt_ · Link hearrrre!
On June 27, 2007, the grog-addicted Undead Sea Monkey said:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pirate Walking.
Pirate Walking who?
Pirate walking on two wooden legs!
Who's there?
Pirate Walking.
Pirate Walking who?
Pirate walking on two wooden legs!
From: my arse · Link hearrrre!
On March 12, 2007, regular scallywag Cliff Williams said:
Who be a pirate's least favorite Van Halen singer?
Sammy Hagarrrrr!
On December 18, 2005, regular scallywag Cap'n Karikas said:
Who do pirates prefer to rob?
The ARRRristocracy!
From: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/book/-/sort_byDesignScore/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.10146680/pNo_10146680/id_3091597/opt_/pg_/c_/fpt_ · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, scurvy dog Cap'n Karikas said:
Why don't pirates attack whalers?
They have harrrrrrrpoons!
From: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/book/-/sort_byDesignScore/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.10146680/pNo_10146680/id_3091597/opt_/pg_/c_/fpt_ · Link hearrrre!
On July 23, 2007, the scurvy Lolly lala said:
What's a pirates favorite disease?
Scurrrrrrrrrrrvy!
From: me · Link hearrrre!
On September 18, 2007, the dreaded olivia said:
What's a pirates favorite thing to do to people?
Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgery!
On July 27, 2006, regular scallywag Ashleh Wicks said:
Why did the pirate lose his business?
Because of his CAARRRRRRRRRRbon emissions!
From: me swashbucklin brain · Link hearrrre!
On October 28, 2011, scurvy knave Blackbeards Beard said:
Tell me mateys, what is a pirates favorite method of travel?
You might think its a pirate ship, but indeed, its a FERARRRRRRRRRRRRRI!!!
From: my own · Link hearrrre!