On June 9, 2013, barnacle-bitten Roger said:
What do you call a flamboyant pirate pianist?
LiberARRRRce!
From: Me yer landlubber · Link hearrrre!
Every joke in the hold
Showing jokes 1–15 of 995 scurvy jokes.
On January 4, 2011, scurvy dog AAARRRRRON! said:
What does a pirate think of this joke?
Its GAAAAARBAGE!!
From: Manchestaaaarrrr! · Link hearrrre!
On September 20, 2008, the sea-bitten Capt. John "Hairy" Lee said:
Did you hear about the demented pirate?
He was a tad gARR gARR!!!
On September 12, 2008, barnacle-bitten Ryan Huber said:
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
From: Original · Link hearrrre!
On March 13, 2007, the sea-bitten Long Jon Silver said:
What did the pirate say to Bach when he played the organ?
You ARRRRe doing a great job making that HARRRRmony!
On February 20, 2007, seven-sea sailin' Cap'n KaySwissBouillabaisseParrotHookClaw said:
What did the pirate say when he visited piratejokes.net?
Harr Harrr HAAARRRR!!
From: My own waaaarrrrrrped brain. · Link hearrrre!
On January 28, 2007, the sea-bitten Sarah said:
What's Captain Hook's favorite store?
The Secondhand Shop!
From: Webkinz.com · Link hearrrre!
On October 13, 2006, regular scallywag Bruin said:
How do you scare away a pirate?
You tell him you've got a colony of termites, and you're not afraid to use it!
From: My grog besotted brain · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, one-legged Cap'n Karikas said:
What did the fat pirate cut out of his diet?
Larrrrrrrrd!
From: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/book/-/sort_byDesignScore/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.10146680/pNo_10146680/id_3091597/opt_/pg_/c_/fpt_ · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, regular scallywag Cap'n Karikas said:
What does a pirate call his Mum?
MotheARRRRRrrrrrggghhh!
From: http://www.ratemypiratejoke.com/rate/showjoke.jsp?id=82 · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, scurvy dog Cap'n Karikas said:
What is a pirate's favorite study subject?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.
From: http://www.prometheusradio.org/piratejokes.html · Link hearrrre!
On March 19, 2005, one-legged Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
From: http://www.prometheusradio.org/piratejokes.html · Link hearrrre!
On March 24, 2005, the sea-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
From: http://justjoking.com/jokes/jokes/joke349.html · Link hearrrre!
On November 11, 2014, scurvy knave Rondo Goldwyn said:
What did the pirate with cardio vascular disease yell in his death throes?
Arrr, me hearty!!!
From: from a bottle washed up on shore · Link hearrrre!
On July 11, 2006, the sea-bitten Charles Hanion said:
What's the favorite part of a birthday party for a pirate?
Da-balloons!!
From: Tennessee · Link hearrrre!