On June 21, 2009, chumbucket-lickin' Arrrrtie said:
3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates.
From: Friends · Link hearrrre!
Every joke in the hold
Showing jokes 76–90 of 995 scurvy jokes.
On March 22, 2010, land-lubber Scott Triplett said:
What do you call a gassy pirate??
Farrrrrrrty!
From: me noggin · Link hearrrre!
On December 18, 2005, barnacle-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
A pirate with an eye patch seemed down at a bar. The bartender asked, "What's wrong?" The pirate replied, "Arrrgh, they wanted me to be a teacher... but I only had one pupil!"
From: http://www.ratemypiratejoke.com/rate/showjoke.jsp?id=76 · Link hearrrre!
On February 23, 2006, barnacle-bitten Anita said:
How do you know if you are a Pirate?
You don't, you just AAARRRRRGH!
From: A land lubbin matey of mine · Link hearrrre!
On June 21, 2007, scurvy knave BrianYeButcher said:
The people that make all of these ARR! jokes should be what?
ARRested!
From: The Questionable Humor Of Others · Link hearrrre!
On March 30, 2012, the scurvy an Anonymous Pirate said:
What does a Priate wear in the winter......
His SCAAAAAARF!
From: London. England · Link hearrrre!
On March 20, 2005, the sea-bitten Cap'n Karikas said:
How did the pirate stop smoking?
He used the patch!
From: http://expage.com/bd2piratejokes · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2011, scurvy dog Jason Rrrrr Everitt said:
What ARRRRRe a Pirate's favorite games?
Gin and Rummy!
From: Me... I think · Link hearrrre!
On October 10, 2009, scurvy dog Courtland said:
Why don't pirates go to college?
Because they're C students!
From: it's been done · Link hearrrre!
On June 10, 2011, the most piratical Captain Rita Book--Mistress of the C'hai Seas said:
What do Jewish Pirates say?
Ahoy vey!
On September 19, 2005, the scurvy Cap'n Karikas said:
Where can a pirate with two wooden legs go?
Not very fARRRRR!
From: http://www.ratemypiratejoke.com/rate/showjoke.jsp?id=33 · Link hearrrre!
On September 19, 2006, scurvy knave Bryce said:
A pirate was standing on the crow's nest and then he slipped and fell. He fell through the first floor, then he fell through the second floor, then he fell through the third floor and hit the bottom floor of the ship!
The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"
The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"
From: I made it up · Link hearrrre!
On September 21, 2010, scurvy dog Hanserelli said:
How do pirates talk to each other?
Aye to Aye!! (while covering one eye)
From: booze · Link hearrrre!
On January 2, 2007, the scurvy themagicman09 (edit by Captain Karikas) said:
There once was an old pirate captain, and this captain had a son who had no ears. One day the pirate captain picked up some new crew members. As the new recruits got on board the captain told them about his son, and that he was very sensitive about the fact that he had no ears. He said that if they offended his son by saying any thing about his ears they would have to walk the plank! The new pirates were naturally nervous about meeting this boy.
Well, after a while some of the pirates met the boy. The first pirate tried not to look at him, but he couldn't handle it and kept staring. The boy yelled "What are you looking at!?" Hurried to think of an excuse, the pirate said "I was just admiring your hand! Take care of your hand, or you will have to wear a hook like me." "Thank you for the advice", said the boy.
Soon a second pirate encoutered the boy. When he stared at the boy the boy said "What are you looking at!?" "I was just admiring your leg," said the pirate. "You take care of your leg, or you will have to wear a wooden leg like me!" "Thank you for the advice," said the boy.
Later a third pirate encountered the boy and stared. When the boy said "What are you looking at!?" the pirate said "I was just admiring your eyes. You take care of your eyes or you will have to wear glasses like me... and you can't wear glasses, because you don't have any ears to hold them up!"
Well, after a while some of the pirates met the boy. The first pirate tried not to look at him, but he couldn't handle it and kept staring. The boy yelled "What are you looking at!?" Hurried to think of an excuse, the pirate said "I was just admiring your hand! Take care of your hand, or you will have to wear a hook like me." "Thank you for the advice", said the boy.
Soon a second pirate encoutered the boy. When he stared at the boy the boy said "What are you looking at!?" "I was just admiring your leg," said the pirate. "You take care of your leg, or you will have to wear a wooden leg like me!" "Thank you for the advice," said the boy.
Later a third pirate encountered the boy and stared. When the boy said "What are you looking at!?" the pirate said "I was just admiring your eyes. You take care of your eyes or you will have to wear glasses like me... and you can't wear glasses, because you don't have any ears to hold them up!"
On July 16, 2007, the grog-addicted Just call me The BOBS Fan said:
A guy walks into a pub with a t-shirt that says "Pirates are stupid for 3 reasons!" He walks up to the bar, orders an ale. and sits down. He no more than gets his quaff when a smelly old sot comes up to him and says, "Aaargh, thar, matey! What's that yer shirt be sayin' thar?"
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"
The guy looks around, looks the man straight in the eyes (well, in his one good eye, anyway), and says "Reason number 1 -- Pirates can't read!" Then he turns around to enjoy his beverage.
Not used to this sort of disrespect, the surly gent takes his hooked arm, lays it aggressively on the man's shoulder, and slowly says, "What's that ye be sayin' thar, sonny-boy?"
The guy looks around again, looks his aggressor square in the eye this time, and enunciates, "Rea-son num-ber 2 -- Pirates can't hear!" And again, he turns around to face the bar.
Well, by this time, the old codger has had enough. He backs up, pulls his sword, and growls, "Aaaaargh, ye bilge rat, that be enuff of yer sass! Stand up and fight, ye lubber, yer soon to be acquainted with Davy Jones, his-self!"
With that, the guy stands up, pulls his pistol, and shoots the pirate dead through his one good eye. He drops his head as he watches him fall, sighs, and says, "Reason #3 -- You pirates are constantly bringing swords to gunfights!"
From: Remix of an old inappropriate ethnic joke · Link hearrrre!